Fear of hoping again/ still.  It really is evidence of my great lack of faith.  If my Hope is in Him alone , where I claim that it is, than how can I fear.  But I do.  LORD, increase my faith.  I want my hope to be in you alone.
Today I got word that I need to revamp my homestudy and try to reapply due to my finances.  Even though my finances have not changed.  Even though they know every detail of my budget and every source of my income.  I need to rewrite my budget to show broken out what money I use to take care of these 6 kids and to show that I still have enough "other" money to meet the financial requirements and adequately provide for yet another child.  But there is still no assurance that they will approve, but this is what I need to do.  Another hoop.  So I move forward.  I am thankful for another chance, another hoop.  Lord, direct my steps.  I wonder how much more I can take, but remember that God knows each day before it was here.  Walk by faith and not by sight.